The Tied Blanket

The morning of the steamy, stuffy motel, in Chiang Mai, Thailand. The heat concealed the breathable air. This kind of warmth was something that I did not feel for a very long time. Maybe because I have been in Canada for all these years. But I miss this feeling, the feeling of thirsting for water every now and so, or the sweat covering your body as you battle your temptation of just giving up and wilting in the soil. It was a sense of survival. Today was the day. I was being brought to a sanctuary in Chiang Rai. Not like any ordinary sanctuary but it was a elephant sanctuary. When I first heard this from my mom and her friend, I thought, what a lame thing to do at Thailand, on my sweet sixteenth.

But I was wrong.

This begins on the trip to the sanctuary. Off road trucks were designated to bring us there since the sanctuary was located on a side of mountain distant from the urbans. I was separated from my mom and her friend due to the lack of space in the front of the truck. As I positioned into a small spot on the back of the truck I found that I was surrounded by a group of Europeans. Once the truck journeyed off to our destination, I journeyed off into the abyss of discomfort.

Comfort was always difficult for me to grasp onto. I had always been struggling to make eye contact, attending social activities and interacting with unfamiliar people. Ever since I was young I had been attached to a blanket that was given to me by my grandfather from his Christopher Columbus expeditions. Till this day this special object provided me comfort in all the terrifying situations I've been. However not in this case.

My blanket was left in Canada.

Waves of thoughts surged through my head. What am I to do in this situation? As my mind spitted out thoughts like a printing machine, I deciphered it into any possible solution. However the endless thoughts that keeps pouring begins to conflict the existing ideas. This wasn’t going to work out. Was I going to start a conversation with them? Will I just sit in silence for the two hour long ride? What if they didn’t speak English? What if they just ignore me? Outrageous thoughts filled my head as my mind drifted off like a red helium balloon. Until it went pop.

It suddenly came to me. Coming to Thailand was to enjoy myself and to celebrate the sixteenth year of my existence. Not to be tied down by my desire for my blanket. Breaking these chains will awaken the excitement for something new. It creates a clear meaning of life unlike my previous mindset of staying within the blanket. If anyone would undo these ties it would be me, not the strangers.

I peered to the friendliest member from the group. He was a handsome fellow. He had glossy blond hair that reflected the sun’s rays into my eyes. He had bright blue eyes like the sea. He looked young and alive so I would’ve said he was 20. He was my candidate because if anyone could’ve relate to excitement it would’ve been him. With that decided, I gathered all my confidence like a herd of sheep and proceeded to give him the good ol’ “Hello” hoping to start up a conversation. Having him respond with a hello back was like lifting off a 10 pound weight of my chest. I was ready to carry out a conversation without anything holding me down anymore.

Is it wise to live without a blanket? Certainly not. Comfort is something many people long to have in their lives, but excitement is more interesting an element to have in life. So it is better to have both comfort and excitement together in life since we widely fail to understand these concepts value without one another.

So how will you wear your blanket?